Revenge of the Deadly Hammer Falcon
by WhitePhoenix423
Summary: The sequel to Wrath of the Deadly Hammer Falcon, this time there are Falcon Clones! Crack, OOC and Character death galore!


A/N: This is the long-awaited sequel to _Wrath of the Deadly Hammer Falcon_. It took no time at all to write this by hand, but I'm guessing that it'll take forever to type it up. This chapter centers around Ness and a few of the _Brawl_ newcomers running from the crazed Captain Falcon and his clones of death.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own _Super Smash Bros _or any of the characters depicted in this story.

WARNING: Character deaths, crack, and OOC. Enjoy the Revenge!

"Hey! Hey Ness! _Neeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssss_!"

Lucas was driving Ness up the wall by constantly repeating his name and trying to get his attention. Ness was a little busy trying to watch three of the Newcomer trying to brawl. Pit shot an arrow at Toon Link, whom Lucario used Extremespeed on and sent flying into Pit's stomach. Lucas popped up in front of Ness' face.

"Nessnessnessnessnessnessnessnessnessness…"

Ness grew a scornful frown on his face, but said calmly yet angrily, "_What?_"

"Hi!"

Ness frowned even more. He pushed Lucas to the side and continued to watch Toon Link, Lucario, and Pit battle. This time, Lucario hit Pit with an Aura Sphere and narrowly dodged Toon Link's Spin Attack.

"What do you think of the Newcomers, Ness? Huh? Huh? _Huh?_"

Lucas was in Ness' face once more, asking what he thought about the characters battling on the stage as they spoke.

"They're okay… I think Toon Link may be a clone, though," Ness whispered at the end as Toon Link turned around.

"What was that?" he said, just after throwing a bomb at Lucario. He dodged a Force Palm after saying that.

"Nothing," Ness replied, holding Lucas' mouth shut, thinking that he may say what they were talking about. Toon Link shrugged and went on with the battle. Just then, music started playing over the stage theme. It was loud, abrasive, bass-centered electronic music with a wobble apparent throughout the song.

Lucario (who at this point was of unknown gender) suddenly turned and said, "Is that Skrillex? I freakin' _love_ Skrillex!" and ran off the stage, heading towards the music.

"What about the battle?" Pit called after him.

"It can wait!" Lucario replied. _It _(I'm not saying "he" or "she" because that isn't really known) was immediately followed by the rest of the characters who were on the stage and who were watching the battle. Once they traveled a bit, they found a familiar purple character holding a boombox, which was the source of the harsh dubstep music.

"Hey, Captain Falcon," Lucario said in a jolly manner. "I didn't know you liked Skrillex. What's your favorite song?"

Captain Falcon squint his eyes and turned off the boombox. He replied, "'Kill Everybody'!" and raised a hammer above his head.

"Well, I like _that _song, but it isn't really his _best_…" Lucario managed to say before being interrupted by the hammer squashing it like a puny bug. Lucas shrieked like a little girl. Literally; everyone though Peach had seen it. But, no, it was Lucas.

"Oh, no! Link told me about this!" Ness said. He pulled out his iPhone and started to read off the first story. "This is what he warned us about! Captain Falcon with a hammer…it's all true!

"Hah! Now I have you all trapped like animals!" Captain Falcon shouted.

Ness got an idea. "Everyone run in different directions! There's four of us and only one of—"

He was cut off when four Falcons started laughing all at once. One was purple, which was normal, but then the others were green, blue and… pink. Of all colors, he _had_ to be pink.

"Smooth move, ExLax!" Pit said sternly, slapping Ness in the back of the head. "Now he's gonna kill us all!"

"Crap!" Ness said, just before Lucas started mouthing off.

"Watch your language, Ness! Remember, this game is only T-rated!"

"I'm going to rate your T in a second!"

"Did you like my tea?"

Ness facepalmed. "I give you guys permission to kill Lucas!"

The Falcons all raised their hammers simultaneously. The newcomers and Ness all ran off, prompting the Clone Falcons to chase.

The Green Falcon chased Toon Link through the Bridge of Eldin stage.

"You can't run forever!" the Green Falcon said. "You'll eventually slip!"

Toon Link knew he was right. He jumped, turned, and threw his boomerang at the evil green menace. It hit him in the face, knocking him back a few meters (because they don't use feet in the Smash World) and making him drop the hammer.

Toon Link ran to grab it, but the Green Falcon managed it before him. Toon Link stopped and tried to run off, but Falcon grabbed him by the hat... and it was over...

The Blue Falcon went after Pit. The Clone was dangerously close to the winged warrior, and, seeing no other choice, Pit jumped five times and pressed UP+B. His wings turned blue, and he started to fly through the air.

Pit started to celebrate. He would survive! But then, in a very very tragic and horribly stupid catastrophe... he hit a tree. And died. After an apple fell on his head. And that is how Pit discovered gravity!

The Pink Falcon ran to catch Lucas, who had made his way over to the Onett stage. He jumped to the top of the Drug Store and went over to the end of the telephone wires. He looked down and saw a van come up.

"This is it, Blondie! Now you _die!_" The way the Pink Falcon said "_die!_" brought a chill down Lucas' spine. But he had an idea.

"See ya loser!" Lucas said before he jumped. But he very idiotically miscalculated his target, and he hit the hard ground. The Pink Falcon grimaced as the van ran Lucas over, killing him instantly...

Ness thought he had lost him. He slowed down to a stop and rested on a wall. Just then, Captain Falcon—the original—had caught up to him, still carrying the hammer he ever so loved.

"This is it, Ness! Your time has come! Now you will see what true power looks like!"

Ness was completely powerless. He knew this was it. Then he saw the other Falcon Clones grinning and laughing behind the real Falcon.

"Hmm... my Clones are back... You know what that means... That means you've killed them all, right? Good job!"

They all closed in on Ness, who felt as if he could never depend on Newcomers again. They lifted their hammers when suddenly there was a shout from far off, followed by a helicopter rotor.

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-HAWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" cried Solid Snake as he descended from the sky in his army chopper. "Dontcha worry, kiddo, I've got yo back!"

He pulled out a grenade launcher and started firing, hitting all of the Falcon Clones and killing them one by one. Snake sent down a ladder to help Ness. He grabbed it and Snake flew off.

Ness almost made it to the helicopter when he felt Captain Falcon grab his foot. He managed to kick it off as they flew over the Pirate Ship stage. Ness got inside and Snake cut the rope on the ladder with a Bowie knife. But Falcon had a good grip on the edge of the helicopter opening. Ness used PK Fire, and Falcon let go, which sent him plummeting into the deep blue abyss... and it was over. But now, four Newcomers were dead, and Ness was traumatized by the whole experience.

"Whew! Glad that's over! Now how's about some Mickey D's? My treat!"

Ness nodded, and they flew off into the sunset... and they enjoyed their fast food.

A/N: This took me a month to type. I told you so.

Anyways, I made a deal with I483—author of the PMD fanfiction _The Adventures of Team Terra_—and we're going to quite possibly do a fanfiction crossover between his story and my _End of Darkness_ story. We're still in talks about it, though, and we need some time to discuss ideas. It might not come up until later on this year or maybe early next year, depending on what we do.

I had another sequel to this story in planning... but I don't know if that'll happen anytime soon.

Thanks for reading, and I'll see you later! Hope you enjoyed the Revenge!

~BlazingSkittles423


End file.
